i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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