you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
