What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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