i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
