road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
