I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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