Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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