I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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