i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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