Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
