why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
