That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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