I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
