I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
