please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
