Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
