Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
