awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
