I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
