I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
