Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
