why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
