We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
