I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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