How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
