so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
