wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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