Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
