Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
