just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
That accounts for only three of the penises
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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