I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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