we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I think my vagina is haunted
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
