lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
