how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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