Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
