i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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