Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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