I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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