i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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