it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
