yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
