it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Randomize
