apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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