is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
