She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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