Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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