Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
