i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm both gender and math confused
He did a backflip because drugs
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
