Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
