Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
