any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
