all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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