i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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