dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
